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You can minimise the amount of distress at separation in a number of ways. First, you should acknowledge that for toddlers in particular, some initial and usually transient distress is developmentally normal and appropriate. In fact, we would be a bit concerned if the young child did not exhibit some feelings at initial separation. Second, you can prepare youngsters for separation by introducing them slowly to the new situation. For example, it is a good idea to have a new babysitter come to the house a few days beforehand and interact with the child in your presence. Similarly, the child should be taken to a new daycare or kindergarten ahead of the actual starting time, so that he has the opportunity to slowly become accustomed to the new situation while the parents are present. Sometimes it is helpful for you to stay at the kindergarten for a few hours on the first day. In most instances, the daycare or kindergarten teacher is very experienced at such separations, and her advice should be followed. Third, it is also common and perfectly normal for the child to be angry with the parent(s) at the end of the day, or when they return after having left the child. You should expect this and take it in your stride rather than see this behaviour as evidence that the child is not coping with the separation.

It is best to deflect any expressed anger or sulking by being positive about and showing a genuine interest in the child’s day. Ask lots of questions, tell the child how interesting his experiences during the day must have been, and remind the child what a good time he must be having with all of these new and different things to do.

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. This entry was posted on Thursday, May 21st, 2009 at 1:02 am and is filed under General health. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.